hello!! welcome to our NEW online booking system!! please fill out all fields. * fields marked with * are required. fields not marked are also required.

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■ available   ■ taken   ■ ur seat   ■ ...special

CONFIRM SEAT & BOOK ✈

have u flown with us? leave a message!! all comments are reviewed by our team (they are not)

LEAVE A MESSAGE

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i made this site myself in notepad.exe!! it took me a long time. please don't email me about the roth ira tab it is coming. i am one person. i also run an airline.

Site Stats:
Started: 1997
Last updated: it says "last updated june 2019" but i think that's wrong
Best viewed: netscape. or internet explorer. not chrome. chrome makes the fonts look weird
Resolution: 800x600 (or 1024x768 if ur fancy)

ARE U A MEMBER??

the united club™ is our exclusive airport lounge where valued members can enjoy:

✦ complimentary snacks — pretzels (while supplies last)
✦ wifi — password is "unitedclub1" (same since 2011)
✦ comfortable seating — some chairs
✦ tv — tuned to CNN. remote is missing.
✦ a vibe — hard to describe. slightly less bad.
✦ sparkling water — it is LaCroix
✦ a person at a desk — she is doing her best

Membership: $650/year or 150,000 miles or just be in first class we'll let u in
Locations: most big airports. some medium ones. ORD has two but one is closed.
Vibe check: 6.5/10 on a good day